Personalized attachment coaching
Over 8 weeks of personalized coaching using the My Secure Self Method®, we'll identify your unique patterns, challenge the thoughts and behaviors keeping you stuck, and practice more secure ways of navigating your real-life dating and relationship challenges.
For individuals and couples
Sound familiar?
You've listened to the podcasts. Read the books. Saved the posts. Maybe you can even explain exactly why you do what you do. But knowing your patterns and changing what you do when you're triggered are two very different things.
That gap is where coaching comes in. We work with what's actually happening in your dating life or relationship, spot the patterns you can't see while you're in them, and practice responding differently in real time.
The My Secure Self Method®
Over 8 weeks, I get to know your patterns, not just your attachment style. Each phase builds on the last.
Map your attachment blueprint, meet your Secure Self, and see the self-sabotaging patterns that keep repeating.
Weeks 1–3Meet your needs securely, challenge the story your attachment is telling you, and start asking "What Would Secure Me Do?™"
Weeks 4–6Break the pattern in real time, then embody your Secure Self with a personal roadmap for life after coaching.
Weeks 7–8The 8-week program
Tap any week to see what we cover.
Attachment style breakdown
Attachment theory helps you understand your "relationship style" through the lens of your past experiences: why you're drawn to certain people, what triggers you, and why you may repeat certain patterns in love.
Not sure which one is you? You don't need to know before we start. We map it together in week 1.
Advantages of doing this work
Client reviews
I had previously been to therapy, multiple times, with different therapists and was never able to truly learn the necessary skills to change certain behaviors. Within 2 months Jessica taught me the tools to break my toxic relationship patterns and the confidence to set boundaries, prioritize my needs, and attract a healthy partner!
It's been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I'm now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I'd get to this place, but understanding my attachment style and understanding that it's not a fault but a beautiful framework of how I need to be loved has truly changed my life.
I couldn't be more grateful to Jessica. Learning about my attachment style and how it's impacted all of my relationships has been so illuminating. It's been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my "secure self", but here we are!
Thank you sosososo much for this amazing experience of being involved in this program. ❤️❤️ The knowledge and skills that I have learned from you will always be carried with me no matter where I am. I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I'm so excited to continue building on these skills and creating a stronger secure version of myself.
Why coaching
My background as a therapist informs my work, but my coaching approach is distinct from traditional therapy.
Coaching is not a substitute for therapy or mental health treatment. If you're unsure which is right for you, we can talk it through on your clarity call.
Meet your coach
I'm Jessica Da Silva, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), attachment coach, author of The Anxious Attachment Recovery Workbook, and host of the Let's Talk Attachments podcast.
I help individuals and couples break unhealthy relationship patterns and build greater emotional security through a practical, action-oriented approach to attachment healing.
At the heart of my work is the My Secure Self Method®, based on the belief that healing requires more than understanding your attachment style. You have to learn how to respond differently when your attachment wounds are actually activated.
Using the question "What Would Secure Me Do?™", I'll help you recognize when old patterns are taking over, make more secure decisions in real time, and strengthen the mindset, behaviors, boundaries, communication skills and self-trust of your Secure Self.
The goal isn't simply to understand why your patterns exist. It's to change what you do when they show up.
Your investment
Two ways to join. Same personalized coaching, same support.
Pay in full and receive 2 additional sessions on top of the 8-week program.
Payment plans available as low as $475/month, so you can start now and spread it out.
How to start
Pick a time for a complimentary 20-minute clarity call.
We explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals and see if we're a good fit.
If it feels right, we begin mapping your attachment blueprint in week 1.
Questions
No. My background as a therapist informs my work, but coaching is solution-focused, action-oriented and centered on creating change in the here and now. Coaching is not a substitute for therapy or mental health treatment.
Yes. The program is available for individuals and for couples. Sessions are 60 minutes either way.
Not at all. If you're single, we work through your actual dating experiences, attraction patterns and decisions. If you're partnered, we bring your real relationship challenges into our sessions.
No. Week 1 is all about mapping your attachment blueprint: your history, triggers, fears, protective behaviors and the cycles you keep finding yourself in.
You have up to 4 months to complete all 8 sessions, so you can move at a pace that supports you while keeping consistency and momentum.
You get email support between sessions, plus lifetime access to the My Secure Self® E-Course and the library of Attachment Rewiring Meditations.
It's a complimentary 20-minute call to explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals, and see if we're a good fit to work together.
Book your free 20-minute clarity call
This complimentary call is a chance to explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals, and see if we're a good fit to work together.